Be Who You Ae

Dr. Seuss, the genius behind many of our favorite children’s books, once wrote, “Be who you are, because the ones who care don’t matter and the ones who matter don’t care.” To me, this is a profound quote, something I can easily say I find applicable to my life.

I believe that if someone demands that I morph to their ideas of what I should be then that person does not accept who I already am, they have no respect for my opinions or my convictions. They become ties that bind me down and cages that trap me to a certain perspective rather than allowing my own views to blossom. Life is infinitely more fulfilling when you surround yourself with friends who support you unconditionally and treat you as an equal rather than a child that requires reprimanding. Of course, parents and adults in general are necessary as guiding forces, but not as judges.

So many people will go out of their way to please others and to retain their affection. These types of people will be careful not to step on any toes…but why live your life to satisfy others? As I discussed in my previous post, no one can uphold the plethora of expectations set before them by each and every person they meet and to even attempting to do so would be inevitable disappointment. People can tell you to be or do enumerable things but what possess us to think that we are by some means compelled to obey? “Those who care don’t matter,”…those who condemn the unique and wonderful characteristics that make you who you are should have no weight in what you do.

And as Dr. Seuss implies, good friends do not mind how you are and what you do. My best friend and I were discussing this recently; we said that people can judge us but we will never change just to please them.  We aren’t doing anything wrong by being content with our personalities and each other’s as well. I hope for all of you who read this will take this quote to heart <3

True Friendship

            If someone asked you to characterize your best friends, what would you say? You could depict them as loyal, trustworthy, loving, reliable, fun, etcetera. In reality, we would all describe our friends with different adjectives; Elbert Hubbard, though, captured what a friend really is in his simple, yet elegant, quote “A friend is one who knows you and loves you just the same.” We all crave the unconditional acceptance of a true friend, for someone to love us, without the fear of “not being good enough.” Ridiculously high standards are set for us on a daily basis everywhere we go, whether to be smarter, prettier, nicer or just not ourselves. The call to be “perfect,” vanilla duplicates of each other is heard loud and clear across the board. But we all know we have flaws, a combination of flaws really, that are singular to each of us; there is a defining quality made up of every aspect of someone’s personality, both the bad and the good. Every once in a while, a person who appreciates this comes along and alters our perspective of ourselves. Real friends will laugh with you when you’re happy but understand when you make mistakes. Whether it is the lack of a skill or a facet of your character that is not particularly desirable, they will take you as you are and move past the imperfections. And not only will they get over how you actually are but like Hubbard said, they will love you. A true friend will enjoy your company and personality and maybe even grow to love the things that seem imperfect to others. I, personally, appreciate my friends for loving me with all my quirks, my sarcasm and bluntness, my clumsiness and forgetfulness.  But also, friends can be eager to congratulate you for your strengths, which can sometimes be even more difficult than accepting flaws. Someone possessing a gift we don’t have can potentially make us envious, or if not jealous it can cause us to compare and think, “Why am I not like that?”  Instead of begrudging you of your talents and abilities, real friends are able to celebrate in the parts of you that help you be confident and proud. And even more than that, in times of discouragement a friend will be capable of pointing out the good things about you and raise your spirits. Who doesn’t want someone to tell them they are loved for both their exceptional qualities AND their less than perfect ones too?